


One and Done

by BlamScilesShipper



Category: Glee, One Direction (Band), Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-02-15 03:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13022130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlamScilesShipper/pseuds/BlamScilesShipper
Summary: Sam is a college boy and Blaine is a barista. They meet and their worlds are rocked. Also features Nick/Jeff and Harry/Louis of 1D. It's a WIP which I didn't need to start... sigh. This might be my version of QAF. I hope ya'll like. XD.





	1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: The characters of_ ** _ glee _ **_do not belong to me. And in no way am I saying that Louis/Harry is something that’s happening. This was supposed to be a oneshot… it’s a WIP, Blam/Larry. And Sciles later. Tumblr gave me the idea for the Blam part, although I tweaked it a bit. Blaine is a poor barista and Sam is the college student who comes in and meets Blaine. Larry will figure in too, I swear. I just want there to be more Blam fics than there are Klaine ones. So here it is. Yet another._ **

 

                                                      One and Done

                                                           By Julia 

 

Blaine was filling up the cabinet with coffee mugs when the bell on the door tingled. It was already snowing, despite it being November. Thanksgiving had been the day before. Blaine’s unruly curls were held back in a bandanna. When he looked up at the bell, he saw a tall, gorgeous hunk with blonde hair and gorgeous green eyes. “Oh, uh.” Blaine’s words came out in a strangled moan. Ever since Blaine and Kurt had ended things and Kurt died, he’d been doing the one and done kind of thing. But… wow. His friend Louis, another barista, looked at him, giggling. “Shut up, Lou!” Blaine groaned, as the hot Adonis came up to the counter. Blaine noticed that the other boy’s hair was long and gorgeous. He wanted to run his fingers through it. What the  _ fuck _ was he doing?! “Can I help you, love?”

 

Oh fuck, he was  _ English _ . In New York, that wasn’t new. But as far as Sam wanting to mount him it was new. Sam had had a boyfriend before but that was two years ago. He hadn’t been with a guy since. A couple of girls, but not seriously. Sam didn’t do the relationship thing. Not after the way that his ex had treated him. Then he realized the gorgeous barista had asked him what he wanted, or if he needed help or anything. Sam brushed his hand through his blonde waves and peered up at the menu. “Um, yeah, can I get a caramel macchiato and some chocolate chip cookies? I have a bit of a sweet tooth.” Sam blushed as those hazel eyes focused on him. He was feeling that deep down tingle he felt when he was attracted to someone. Sam noticed the other barista, he was short like this one, and had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes. Sam looked at him, Harry might like him. Harry Styles was Sam’s roommate. They were both bisexual and hadn’t hooked up. They were just friends. They were doing the music program at NYU together. Sam loved it. He realized that Blaine was still staring at him. “Um, what?” Sam asked, albeit a bit nervously. His items were put in front of him.

 

Chuckling, Blaine said, “I told you the total, love.” He definitely felt like this guy was just as into him as he was the blonde. Blaine accepted the cash that the gorgeous man handed him. Blaine had a few tats, and piercings in his earlobes. He wanted to be a rockstar. But without doing the college thing. He had been raised by a Green Day groupie, and so Blaine had actually gotten some of the ideals as a result. He hated having to keep his curls held back at work with a bandanna. He loved to run his fingers through them when he was flirting. Brought attention to them and how gorgeous they were. Blaine handed Sam back his change. “So, what’s your name?”

 

When the hot barista, or Blaine, as his nametag said, asked what his name was, Sam almost froze in fear. If the hot guy knew his name, this wasn’t just a casual flirting thing anymore. This would be the start of something. Sam wasn’t sure that he was okay with that. His heart pounded out of his chest at the thought. “Um, Noel.” He said, getting scared and giving Blaine his middle name. There was some teasing about that, and their fingers brushed too long as Sam took his cup and cookies. He was meeting Harry for breakfast, and then it was off to Black Friday shopping. His green eyes looked around, trying to avoid the hot barista. And he  _ was _ , too.

 

Within 20 minutes, Harry was there, wearing tight jeans and a paisley shirt under a heavy wool coat. Harry’s brown hair was falling to his shoulders. He had soft, very expressive green eyes. Sam looked up to look at Blaine, and he caught the other barista looking at Harry. “Haz, that dude is checking you out.” Sam tried to keep his tone light. He didn’t want Harry to figure out that he had the hots for Blaine. Sam was going to freak out if the word ‘crush’ was used. He didn’t do crushes. That implied maybe real feelings down the road and Sam didn’t do that.

 

Smirking, Harry settled back into his seat with his scone and honey tea. He loved Starbucks. Always great to come and get breakfast at. Harry said, “Yes, he does appear to be, but hon, you’re checking out the Filipino one.” Harry smirked more when Sam blushed deeply. “Sam, love, it’s been two years since you and Jeff broke up. Not to mention, you two are still friends. Because you love him and Nick together. So you have to start moving on. Flirt with the barista guy.” That’s when he noticed that Sam was actually blushing and the name on Sam’s cup said ‘Noel’. “Why did you give him your middle name, you nutter?”

 

“You know that I don’t do actual dates.” Sam snapped. “Whoa, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so incredibly rude. I know how long it’s been. Believe me, do I know. Nick and Jeff are engaged. I know it was never going to work out. That doesn’t mean that I’m ready to move on.” Sam looked down at his coffee and locks of his blonde hair fell over his forehead. Sam let them, toying with one of the cookies on his plate. “I’m not going to get attached to another gorgeous, talented, funny, sweet, and sexy guy right now. If I do for that barista it would be casual sex and not a relationship.” Sam loved Harry, but he was getting weary of this. With the everyone telling him to move on. Didn’t they know how much it hurt to be left by someone who wanted another boy? “I’m a fucking sophomore in college, man. I can handle it.” Sam told him, his tone a bit angry. He was trying to keep it out completely but it wasn’t helping. Sam did feel like the world was spinning on its axis once he’d laid eyes on that gorgeous and sexy face. He supposed he was more angry at himself for being so turned on by the barista boy. He was the son of a very famous author, had written at least ten series of books for children to read. Sam had always felt he wasn’t good enough for anyone even remotely normal. “Just, drop it, do you feel me?”

 

Harry held up his hands in defeat. “Okay. Don’t ask for his digits.” Harry was getting tired of Sam being so against relationships. He understood why Sam had been so hurt when Jeff left him for Nick. He really did. But it had been two years and he was still friends with both of them. Harry was from England as well, but he’d moved to the States when he was 16. Harry had pulled his hair back into a ponytail. “So I am going to work on some songs tomorrow. If you want to not be in the apartment.” Harry knew that Sam understood why he got so intense when writing, but still.

 

He almost didn’t hear him, Sam was still staring at Blaine. “Um, okay, sure. I have a paper I have to work on for history. So I can go to the library for a bit.” Sam tucked some of his hair behind his ear. He knew Harry was going to tease him about staring at Blaine again. He didn’t mind though. He was thinking even of going up and getting Blaine’s number. Although he wasn’t going to give him his real name. Sam still didn’t think that was a good idea. Sam licked his lips and grabbed a cookie, taking a bite. As he chewed, he finally turned back to Harry. Who had a knowing look on his face. “Shut up.”

 

Louis looked at Blaine, whose hands were shaking as he was working. “Just go ask him out, Blaine. You like him. It’s obvious. You haven’t been this attracted to someone since… Kurt.” This was said carefully. Sometimes it couldn’t be brought up in front of Blaine. But Louis didn’t blame him, it had been a huge traumatizing thing. Kurt had been emotionally abusive after the first few months, and after a year of putting up with it, Blaine had ended things. Then Kurt had tried to kill him, and had died in the process. Blaine had been in a medically induced coma for a week. He was still seeing a shrink for it. Louis adjusted his Starbucks cap that covered his hair. “It’s been a long time. Four years. All you’ve done is have meaningless sex since then. There’s nothing wrong with that, love. But you want to get married and have kids one day. And if you do, you need to be open to more than just sex.” Louis really did want Blaine to move on. His blue eyes slide over to Blaine’s gaze, and he saw the guy that Sam was sitting with. Yeah, he’d looked before, but wow. He was really good looking. Louis had no such hangups about serious relationships. He hadn’t had one in a couple of years, but mostly just because he hadn’t met anyone. Louis wondered if the guy with Sam had hangups. Not that it would be a deal breaker, Louis could deal with issues. Blaine was his best friend. Louis looked back at Blaine, who was quiet.

 

Sighing, Blaine put away some biscotti. “I know I need to get serious. It’s not that I don’t. I’m just really… I’m still scared, Lou. I know that not every guy is like Kurt. I know that. But I… I almost died. I can’t… I can’t go through that again. I can’t… I loved him. I loved him so much, and he used me as a punching bag. That’s all I was to him. I don’t want that. I want someone who loves me for me. It’s hard to trust people after all of that.” Blaine knew he had to try and learn to trust again. It was too hard. Blaine sighed. “Thank God, it’s time for me to clock out.” It then hit him that he was off the clock and Noel was still here with his friend. Blaine blushed deeply as he took off his bandana and moved to clock out. Louis gave him a knowing look. Blaine stuck his tongue out at him childishly and moved to grab his bag. Blaine was halfway to the door when Noel was suddenly in front of him. Blaine didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected this. Blaine’s eyes caught those green ones and his stomach was full of butterflies. “Um, hi?” He finally tried. Blaine toyed with the ends of his stupid Starbucks uniform shirt. He didn’t know what was happening and it was scaring him a bit. Then he realized he needed his coat.

 

Sam almost got lost in those hazel eyes. “Um, hi. I just… I wanted to um, tell you that I really… I like you. I can’t…. I can’t stop staring at you. And… my name is really Sam. Noel is my middle name. I just… I have trust issues.” The look on Blaine’s face was one of relief. That felt good to Sam. “And, you might want to wear a coat. It’s cold out.” This caused them both to laugh. It broke the tension. Blaine excused himself to go and get it. Sam waited nervously until he came back. “So, I was just wondering if I could have your number.” Sam said, he was holding his phone. He was hoping Blaine would put his number inside. Sam hadn’t been this attracted to anyone in a long time. He held out his phone to Blaine, who put his number in. Sam’s grin stretched from ear to ear. “Great. I swear I’ll text you.” Sam brushed some of his long hair out of his eyes. Blaine was wearing eyeliner, and Sam thought it was super hot. The ear piercings were hot, too. He had this whole Mick Jagger vibe. Sam hadn’t thought that was hot before, but he apparently did now. If he could play guitar, Sam might have to bang him right then and there. Sam was going to have to avoid asking him right now. “So, what are you doing tomorrow? I was hoping you’d want to go out. I really want to. I really want to get to know you. As crazy as that sounds.” Sam had barely spoken to him earlier and who got attracted this quickly anymore? It wasn’t a 40s movie. 

 

A blush covered Blaine’s cheeks. His olive skin tone shone underneath it. Blaine was half Filipino. His half brother was Latino. They shared a white father with Italian blood. Blaine looked into those gorgeous green eyes and tried to quell the butterflies in his stomach. Although this was really great, that Sam was asking him out. Blaine also understood why Sam hadn’t given him his first name. Blaine had his own trust issues. “It’s okay about the Noel thing. I have my own trust issues. So I get it.” Blaine brushed his hand through his curls. They fell adorably over his forehead. “I gotta go, but text me.”

 

After Blaine had left, Sam’s face exploded in a huge smile. Sam moved slowly back to his table, already giving Harry a don’t you gloat look. Sam sat down and picked up another cookie. He didn’t know what had made him ask Blaine out. Sam just knew that Blaine was the best looking guy he’d ever seen. And that British accent was so sexy. Why Sam didn’t think it was with Harry was beyond him. Because he completely didn’t. Sam looked out the window, it had begun to snow. It was gorgeous, Sam loved snow. He’d loved it growing up in Maine. It had been snow like the North Pole up there. Lots of snow days.

 

Pushing Sam against the kitchen counter, Blaine kissed him hungrily. They hadn’t even gotten anywhere just yet. All Blaine had done was answer the door and they were all over each other. Blaine’s hands moved along Sam’s chest, he’d gotten Sam’s shirts off and he was enjoying running his hands over Sam’s bare, strong chest. They pulled back to take off Blaine’s sweater and undershirt. Blaine had a T of chest hair that led all the way down his huge member. Sam licked his lips and they were kissing again. Blaine sucked on Sam’s tongue, earning a groan from the other boy. Blaine didn’t even care that it was in the kitchen that they were doing this. Blaine groaned loudly as Sam’s hands went up into his dark curls. That was one of his erogenous zones. Blaine’s cock was already incredibly hard. Blaine suddenly stopped. “Wait… wait.” Blaine’s lips were puffy from the kissing. He tried to catch his breath. “Okay. I’m not saying I don’t want to do this. I just… I do the one and done thing. I don’t… I know it seems crazy. But I want… I want to see where this goes. I haven’t… it’s been years since I had a boyfriend. I had… I had a very bad go of it. He was my first.” Blaine’s hazel eyes brushed with tears, and Sam reached out and took his hand. “It left me with emotional and physical scars. I haven’t… you are the first person in a long time that I’ve wanted more than sex with. So I just… what is this?”

 

Stroking the back of Blaine’s hand with his thumb, Sam said, “Blaine, I’m sorry that you had such a bad relationship. I get it. I haven’t had a serious relationship in a couple of years myself. So I get why you abstained from one for so long. But I feel the same way you do. I don’t want this to be just sex either. I haven’t ever felt this attached to someone right away. You’re so gorgeous. That accent is so sexy. I just… I don’t know how to explain how I feel. I just know that I want something more than sex.” Sam looked into those gorgeous hazel eyes. They were gorgeous. 

 

A few tears fell off Blaine’s chin. He looked into Sam’s eyes. “I didn’t want to say it, but it felt like love at first sight. I didn’t want to freak you out.” Blaine had thought it had been that with Kurt, but it hadn’t felt like this. This felt like it really might be love at first sight. It felt like a romance novel, which Blaine was addicted to. He supposed it was because he’d never had real love before. Blaine wondered if Sam was going to freak out now. He hoped not. Blaine had gone so far into this already and he didn’t want it to all be in vain. He couldn’t keep more tears from forming in his hazel eyes.

 

A huge tingle went through Sam when Blaine mentioned love at first sight. Sam had thought that himself but he’d been too scared to say so. He brushed a few tears off Blaine’s cheeks. “I felt it might be love at first sight, too. I was just scared to say it out loud, too.” He couldn’t put into words how glad he was that Blaine felt the same way. Sam couldn’t imagine not taking Hazza’s advice and not asking Blaine out. Since he was already so attached. Sam wiped some more tears off Blaine’s cheeks. “I think maybe we should stop. Go out like we planned. I’m not saying that I don’t want to fuck you. I do. But if we both want this to be a relationship, maybe we should break our patterns.”

 

That might be a good idea. Blaine sniffled and grabbed a tissue. “Okay. If you want to do that, I can get behind that. You’re right. We need to try and break our bad patterns. So let’s go out where you wanted us to go.” Blaine reached to put his clothes back on. Blaine couldn’t believe that he’d actually agreed to forgo the sex. He had had so much anonymous sex since he and Kurt had gone down in flames. Grinder had been something he’d made great use of. Although he’d been in trouble with it a few times. Guys could be very dangerous creatures. Blaine couldn’t believe that he’d even brought up Kurt to Sam. He never brought that up to anyone he was in a physical relationship with. “I really… I really like you.”

 

It wasn’t long before they were in Sam’s favorite pizza place. They were sitting at a table, holding hands. Sam looked into those gorgeous hazel eyes. He felt like he knew Blaine so much already. Sam normally would have freaked out about that. But not this time. Sam wondered why that was. Why he wasn’t scared. Sam licked his lips. “Are you… do you want to tell me in more detail about your ex? If you don’t, I get it. But you can talk to me. I can tell from the sound of it yours was worse than mine. I was in love with Jeff, my ex, and he left me for someone else. It hurt, but yours sounds worse.”

 

Blaine tightened his grip on Sam’s hand. “I’ve never spoken of it with anyone really. Especially someone I was involved with. But… I’ll tell you.” The whole story came out, tears filling his eyes. Blaine’s voice shook. “I was… I had never expected him to do that. He was… he was my first everything.” Blaine wasn’t sure that he could tell him what else had happened with Grinder. Blaine thought this was enough for one day. His curls fell adorably over his forehead. “I’ve been in therapy for years, but I’ve been so scared to let someone else in other than sex.” Blaine also hadn’t seen sex as something that was magical between two people in love.

 

“Oh, Blaine, honey.” Even with all of the time he’d spent with Harry he hadn’t really used much British slang. Sam used his free hand through his blonde hair. He looked up when the waitress arrived, and with Blaine’s nod, ordered them an extra large meat lovers and a pitcher of Pepsi. Sam was almost 21, and had a fake ID, but he didn’t know if Blaine drank beer. “Okay. On a happier note, I’m 20, almost 21, and I’m a sophomore at NYU. I’m studying music. I really love it. I play guitar, and my friend I was with does too. We met freshman year. We’ve been friends ever since. He was there for me with my issues about Jeff, even though he and I had broken up before I met Harry.” Sam didn’t know what he’d do without Hazza. Sam knew he might not be alive without him. Sam had been messed up about Jeff for awhile. Although Harry was right, he really did like Jeff and Nick as a couple. Sam looked at Blaine, who had calmed down a bit. “Do you want to tell me how old you are? Under 18 is a deal breaker, even if it might be a bit too late to say that. I don’t want your parents to get upset because I’m older than you.” Sam had almost had a situation recently with a 17 year old. Although he hadn’t known until after they’d had sex. Sam couldn’t deal with that again. He didn’t think that Blaine was underage, what with the few tats he’d seen, but there  _ were _ ways. Sam knew that Blaine looked like the kind that would, even if he knew it was wrong to judge by the cover.

 

“Don’t worry. I just turned 19.” Blaine had only been with older guys. Not a purpose, it just kind of happened. Blaine knew that Sam was a little older. “I’ve only dated older guys. It just turned out that way. I’m not really sure why. Kurt was two years older than me. My parents flipped and kicked me out. This was before what he did to me. And they never showed up when I was hurt.” Blaine poured some Pepsi in his cup that the waitress had brought by. He took a sip. “I moved in with Louis, my mate that you saw working with me. My half brother is moving in with us as soon as he turns 18. Not sure why, and I’m afraid to ask him in case it was because of our dad.” Scott’s mom died when he was 15. Scott had taken it really hard. Blaine was fine with Scott’s boyfriend Stiles coming as well. Louis’ mum was paying for their loft apartment in the Upper East Side. Louis’ trust came to him when he was 21, in a month or so, and then he’d take over. Blaine had been so glad that he’d met Louis in high school. Even if he’d been friends with Kurt first. Blaine brushed curls out of his eyes. He had a tattoo of the cross on his wrist. His sweater rode up just enough to see it, oddly enough. He had very short arms. He was only 5’8”.

 

Sam poured his own Pepsi. “That must be cool to have siblings. I don’t have any. It was just my dad and I since I was six.” Sam had lost his mom, and didn’t really talk about it. He gave Blaine a look that told him not to press about it. Blaine shared a look with him and then nodded, showing that he understood. “Haz and I have an apartment off campus. I roomed with him in the dorms last year. My dad is a famous author, and I took off a year between high school and college. I needed the break from being his kid. Although, he’s not a bad dad. He was there for me my whole life. It’s just hard being a famous person’s kid sometimes. I was seeing a therapist for awhile.”

 

By the sound of it, Sam was perfect for Blaine. It was surprising him that they’d met at Starbucks and they seemed to be hitting it off so well. “You’ll be happy to know that I play guitar, piano, and I sing. I do a lot of open mic nights. College wasn’t really my bag. I admire you for you being able to handle it. You’re a stronger person than I am.” They shared a look, and Blaine felt a warmth spreading through his heart. Blaine couldn’t explain why, but he was falling for Sam way too quickly. He knew it was too late to stop himself though. Blaine was already in love with Samuel Noel Evans. He was a goner if this relationship didn’t work out. He was afraid of that but he also knew that he wouldn’t take this back. It just felt right.

 

A couple of days later, Harry went back to Starbucks. He was armed with a thick novel for English lit, his only class was cancelled and he was going to hang for a bit. Harry got up to the counter, and saw the boy who had been checking him out the other day. Harry smiled at him as he walked up. “Hullo, mate.” Harry said. “I believe our friends are dating? I’m Harry Styles.” He told him. Harry pulled out his wallet. “I’d like a peppermint mocha frappe and some scones.” Harry loved their scones. Not as good as back home, but he did love them. Harry smiled as Louis looked at him with a blush.

 

“Um, yeah, I’m Louis Tomlinson.” Louis said, taken aback by how gorgeous Harry was up close. Louis’ hair was held back with a Starbucks cap as usual. Louis couldn’t believe this gorgeous boy was standing there in front of him. “Let me get that for you.” Louis moved to start Harry’s coffee. Blaine had met Harry the day before, and he’d been taken with him. Louis was glad that he had an in with Harry. Louis hadn’t been able to keep his mind off him since the other day. Louis worked the coffee machine, and put two scones on a plate with some strawberry jam. Louis went back to the machine, trying to quell the butterflies in his stomach. Harry was  _ gorgeous _ .

 

When Louis came back with his order, Harry gave him a smile. He handed him some money and dropped a twenty in the tip jar. “I know you don’t need it but I love to tip.” Harry said. He winked at Louis. “Hey, we’re having a party this weekend. It’s Sam’s mum’s birthday, she passed away but Sam likes to celebrate. Do you want to come? I don’t have a date just yet.” Harry said, winking once more. Harry thought Louis was so adorable. He hadn’t had a date in awhile. Not since his casual sex relationship with Sebastian Smythe had ended. They were still friends though. Harry had a suspicion that Bas had had a threesome with Nick and Jeff. Although he hadn’t shared this info with Sam just yet.

 

Blushing, Louis said, “That’s really sweet of Sam to do that to honor his mum. I’d love to go. Um, text me the deets. You can get my number from B. Tell him I said it was okay.” Louis blushed some more and then fished out the twenty before that bitch Marsha got it. “Thanks for the tip.” It was true he didn’t need it, but since it came from Harry he would get Harry something with it. Louis just wouldn’t tell him about where the money had come from. Louis blushed more as Harry smiled at him. “I’m glad you asked me to go.” Louis told him, and then Harry went to sit down. Louis tucked the money in his jeans pocket. He almost never took tips. He was working here because he liked it. And he liked working with Blaine. And you met hotties like Harry.

 

After about a half an hour, Harry was joined by Sebastian. “Hey, Bas.” The other boy was carrying a frozen cappuccino and a cherry danish. Sebastian sat and Harry put down his book. It was the  _ Complete Sherlock Holmes  _ volume one. Harry loved Barnes and Noble. He looked at Bas, who was as always, put together well. “Good to see you, mate.” Harry took a sip of his coffee. Harry wasn’t always in the mood for Bas. Right now it was alright though. Harry didn’t know why it was like that. Maybe it was because Sebastian could be a lot to take. “What’s going on with you?” Harry didn’t know why he asked.

 

Sizing him up, Bas wondered what was up with Harry. “Nothing much. I just left Nick and Jeff’s new place.” They were all three sleeping together right now. Sebastian wasn’t supposed to bring it up with anyone. Not that he wanted to. Normally he would be bursting to brag, but not this time. Sebastian wasn’t wanting to mess up Nick and Jeff’s relationship. He still wasn’t sure why they’d asked him to join them as it was. Sebastian met Harry’s green eyes. “What’s up with you?” He hoped that Harry would go with the change of subject. He didn’t want Harry to ask about what he’d been with Niff for. He didn’t want to lie.

 

“Nothing much. Blaine has a boyfriend now.” Sebastian also knew Blaine. “Our very own Sammy.” Harry wondered why Sebastian had never spoken up about Blaine before. In a fix him up with Sam kind of way. Harry decided not to bring that up though. Sebastian seemed to have a lot on his mind. Harry said, “Are you coming to Sam’s party? I know he wants you to come.” Harry couldn’t remember the last time Bas had hung out with them. Maybe he was just going through something. You could never tell with Sebastian. He never let anyone see his true feelings. Harry watched him sip his coffee. Harry cast his glance back at the counter, Louis was waiting on someone. He was so gorgeous. His friend followed his gaze. Harry blushed deeply. “That’s Louis. I asked him to be my date for the party.” Harry knew Sebastian would make the connection that Louis was going to be his first date since him. Harry brushed his hand across his scruffy chin. Harry turned back to Sebastian. “I really think he’s cute, what do you think? He is so adorable. He’s a Brit, too.” Not that it would matter if he wasn’t. Harry wasn’t one to freak out about someone of a different nationality being his date. Harry might have actually fallen for Bas if they’d been together longer. Harry brushed his hand through his long brown hair. It had a bit of a curl in it, a natural one. Harry never tried to get rid of it, he just let it go. “Are you okay, love? You seem upset about something. You don’t seem yourself.”

 

That was a lot of questions. “Yeah. I’ll be at Sam’s party.” Sebastian’s own mother was gone as well. Sebastian thought Sam celebrating her birthday was really sweet. Sebastian couldn’t do that for his own mother. Then he cast his glance on Harry’s barista again. “He’s very sexy.” Sebastian agreed. He reminded him of pictures Harry had seen of Blaine’s ex Kurt. He was glad that he’d never met the boy. He had treated Blaine so awfully that he messed up Blaine for life. Sebastian had slept with Blaine a few times. It had been good, and he’d for once fallen in love. He’d fallen for Blaine like a ton of bricks. Sebastian had been so angry with himself. He knew that Blaine didn’t do love anymore. And to be honest, he was still in love with him. That’s partly why he was doing the threesome thing. He didn’t, for once in his life, want to end up hurting someone that he didn’t have any feelings for. When Harry asked if he was okay, he stood. “Gotta go, Haz.” He said. He picked up his cup of coffee and walked out. He knew that Harry wasn’t going to be surprised. Sebastian wasn’t going to talk to Harry about his feelings. And it hurt that Blaine had an actual boyfriend now. Why couldn’t it have been him? Tears filled his eyes.

 

That Friday brought the party. Sam was putting out the cups on the beer pong table. Harry had just confirmed their pizza order was still coming. There was loads of booze, Sam had an in, and loads of party foods. It was technically already started, but Sam didn’t expect anyone on time. He wished his dad was coming, but he knew that he wouldn’t. Sam’s hair was free and a bit wild. There was a knock on the door, and Harry got it. It was Blaine and Louis. Sam put down the cups and hurried up to Blaine. “Oh, B, I’m so glad you’re here.” His mom’s birthday was always hard on him. Part of the reason he threw this huge party. San hugged him tightly, taking a deep sniff of Blaine. 

 

Squeezing him back, Blaine said, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” They still hadn’t slept together. A few makeout sessions was all. Blaine was glad that they still hadn’t given in to their urges yet. Blaine was actually enjoying them taking it slow. They’d spoken on the phone every day. It had been so great. Blaine pulled back to look Sam in the eye. “Lou brought a 12 pack of Smirnoff even though I told him you had the booze covered.” He wondered if Sebastian was coming. He had known how the other boy felt about him. Blaine had been the one to break it off. He hadn’t wanted to hurt Sebastian. He knew that if he’d stayed with him that’s what would have happened. Blaine’s curls were also down and a bit wild. He kisse his boyfriend hello.

 

Laughing, Sam said, “It’s okay. Harry will be glad, he loves wine coolers.” Sam was so glad that Blaine was here. He was already so attached to him. Sam closed the door and he watched Louis and Harry being awkward with each other. Sam knew that was ore Louis than his roommate. Harry was at ease with just about everyone. Sam led Blaine to the beer pong table. He was just about done with the setup. Sam’s hair fell over his forehead. He finished getting the cups ready and put the bag on the floor near the table. “Let me tell you, Sebastian’s coming. I know you might be concerned.” Sam met Blaine’s eyes. He did look very concerned. “If you need to know, I think he’s in a relationship. He’s been exhibiting signs of getting regular sex. So that means he’s mostly moved on from having feelings for you.” Sam knew that this might only be partly true. Sebastian might still be harboring feelings for Blaine. Sam would normally be jealous to a bad degree, but he knew that Blaine was planning to never be with Sebastian again. He was for once secure in his relationship. Sam moved to kiss Blaine. “It’s going to be okay, babe. You don’t even have to speak to him if you don’t want to.” Sam brushed curls off Blaine’s forehead.

 

Eyes fluttering shut at the touch, Blaine sighed softly. “I admire you not being jealous, Sammy. I do. But I also know that I don’t plan to ever be with him ever again. So it makes sense you not being worried. You also don’t know the whole story. While I don’t blame Seb for his issues with relationships, he hurt me. And I thought I was safe from that after Kurt. I suppose part of me may never trust him again.” Blaine looked into Sam’s green eyes. “You might have to live with that. I know he’s your friend. It’s so crazy we never met before. But that’s not the point. The point is I may never be able to trust him again.” Blaine had slept with him not long after arriving in New York. The pain of Kurt had still been fresh. He’d still been open to the idea of love. He’d fallen hard for the other boy, and Sebastian had cheated on him repeatedly. Even though he’d told Blaine he was in love with him. Blaine had believed him, oddly enough. Blaine hadn’t been able to trust him after that though. Blaine brushed curls out of his eyes. He didn’t want to tell Sam what had happened. Partly because he was friends with Sebastian. But also because he didn’t want to talk about it yet. He hadn’t even told Louis what had happened. Blaine knew Sebastian was just as much at fault for Blaine being just a player who was one and done. Besides Kurt, that was. Blaine was just hoping Sam was going to accept that. 

 

It was definitely something Sam was curious about. Why Blaine was so distrustful of Sebastian. But he also knew that he wasn’t going to pressure Blaine about it. Before he could say anything there were knocks at the door and Harry was letting people in. One of them Sebastian. Sam met Bas’ eyes. The other boy looked drunk already. Sam knew Harry might be right about Smythe having something serious going on. Jeff and Nick were with him. Sam wondered why they were all spending so much time together. It had been a thing Sam hadn’t expected. Sam waved at him briefly and then Jeff moved to hug him.

 

An hour later, the party was in full swing. Sebastian was hanging in a corner of the living room with his drink and some pizza. He looked up. Blaine had come over. Sebastian’s eyes filled with tears immediately. “Um, hi, Blaine.” He finally said. Sebastian was never going to stop feeling guilty for what he’d done to Blaine. It had been so wrong enough but Blaine had just been through Kurt Hummel. Sebastian knew it was very heartless of him, what he’d done. He knew he had to get over his feelings for Blaine. Sebastian drained his cup. Jeff and Nick were playing beer pong with Harry and Louis. He wished he was, too.

 

“I thought we should talk.” Blaine and Sebastian hadn’t really spoken since the breakup. Blaine hadn’t gotten to tell Sebastian his real feelings. Blaine had just thrown him out of his apartment and they’d never spoken again. Blaine sat down in the chair next to the older boy. “I never got to talk to you about what you did. And now that I’m with Sam we’re going to be around each other. I want you to know that I don’t blame you for the aversion to relationships. What I blame you for is the cheating on me so many times. I also know that you fell in love with me. I know you still are. I can’t stop that part. What you  _ are _ going to do is not even try and get between us. It’s over with you and I for good. You were the first guy I let in after Kurt and you hurt me so much. You are just as much to blame as Kurt is for me being the way I am. I’m trying with Sam, but I don’t know if I can do it.” Blaine was proud of himself for being so calm about this. He had wondered if he’d be able to be calm. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust you ever again. You are going to have to be okay with that. I don’t know that I care if you’re upset by that. You’re…. I know you’re sorry for what you did. But you permanently drove a wedge between us. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I know everyone is trying to change the way we see affairs these days. But I can’t. Kurt did that to me as well and I don’t accept it from anyone.”

 

All of what Blaine was saying was hitting him hard. Sebastian didn’t know how to make it up to him. He took a bite of pizza and chewed quietly. It was amazing he wasn’t puking already. Sebastian set his eyes on Blaine’s. “I’m sorry that I hurt you. Even if you know already. I am still in love with you. You have no idea what I’ve done to try and get over you. I’m not proud of it by any means. I really don’t blame you for not trusting me anymore. What I did was awful. Especially since you were still dealing with all of the Kurt aftermath. I really, I can’t take it back and I wish I could.” It did feel good to get that off his chest. Sebastian wiped his eyes. “I won’t hurt you again. At least, not on purpose. You hate me all you want, I won’t try and stop you. I know that I don’t have to give you my permission. Don’t see it as that. I just am telling you I’m okay with you hating me. I’m so sorry that I did what I did to you. You deserve so much better than me.” That song by Hinder came into his head and a lump formed in his throat. It was going to haunt him for a long time, what he had done. He was going to have to get past it somehow. Sebastian just didn’t know how. It was his biggest regret. “I’m truly sorry, Blaine.” 

 

Loud cheering broke out from the beer pong table. He looked over before he spoke again. “Sebastian, none of that is going to change anything. Nothithing. I don’t plan to make you feel better about yourself. I hope you feel like a total and complete asshat. You should feel bad for what you did. Eventually you have to stop kicking yourself, but I hope that day never comes.” Blaine hated how angry that seemed. He lifted his sleeve, showing Sebastian the scars on his arms from the suicide attempts. “These are all because of you. Nothing Kurt did drove me to this.” He had thankfully been found by Louis. “You get to live with that.” Blaine’s petty attitude was surprising him.

 

With that, Blaine left him in the corner alone. Sebastian’s eyes filled with tears again. What he’d done had caused Blaine to try and kill himself. How could he live with himself? Sebastian put down his pizza. He explained to Sam he was leaving and left the party. He shouldn’t have gone. He knew Jeff and Nick would be upset, but they’d get over it. Sebastian moved through the snowy sidewalk to grab the subway. He felt so much worse now that he knew what he’d done to Blaine. Sebastian had never known that Blaine had tried to kill himself. Sebastian didn’t know how to handle this information. He moved down the steps to the subway. This was devastating news. He hoped he could deal with it.

 

Sam had watched Smythe go, wondering what Blaine had said to him. It was hard to tell and he didn’t want to ask Blaine. Since when did his life turn into some gay drama? Maybe this was a mistake. 

  
  
  


**_Author’s note: I KNEW this was a WIP. XD. This might be kind of QAF esque. I don’t know if it’s going to have any other kind of relationships other than m/m. I’m chill with that though. Anyone reading my glee rewrite I’ve started the update and am halfway done. Enjoy this in the meantime. Lots of turmoil in my life at the mo, need to write to escape. Hope ya’ll liked!_ **


	2. It's A Logo Thing

Chapter Two: It’s a Logo Thing

On December 19th, it was a very sunny day. Blaine was just getting to work, it was around noon. He’d made sure that he’d had the morning off to recuperate from moving Scott and his boyfriend Stiles into the apartment. Blaine’s curls were all the way to his shoulders. His beard was getting a little unruly. He was going to have to shave it. He’d not done so so far because Sam liked it. Blaine didn’t know that he wanted it as part of his image. He was actually looking forward to Christmas this year for once. They were going to stick pretty close to town. Blaine and Sam had actually had a row about whether to invite Sebastian or not. Blaine didn't want him there. Even if their whole gang was going to be there. Blaine had in the end won. He put his things in his locker, and Louis came into the room. “Hey, mate.” Blaine said as he moved to get out his Starbucks hat. He wished he didn’t have to wear it. Blaine closed his locker and turned to Louis. “So, you didn’t home last night. Scott was actually disappointed. Until he and Stiles went to bang. A sly smile played on his lips. “DId you spend the night with Haz last night?” Blaine asked. He and Louis were working the same shift, Oddly enough they usually did. Although sometimes Morgan worked with them too and they both despised her. Blaine moed to lead them out of the break room, so they could get to work. 

“Yeah, I was with Harry.” Louis said, as they got out to the counter. It was early, only noon, they should be swamped but they weren’t. Louis moved to check to check the cup situation. He liked to make sure they were always covered with them for any rush they might get during their shift. Louis ignored the look that Blaine was giving him. “I know what you’re going to say. That Harry and I are going too fast.” Blaine and Sam still hadn’t slept together. Other than actually sleeping in the same bed, that is. Louis had lost count of how many times he and Harry had had sex. Louis straightened and leaned against the counter. They seemed to be staying in this slow period. 

Blaine shook his head, scratching his chin. “No, I wasn’t going to say that. You and Haz have different views on relationships than Sam and I do. So you and Harry can progress more easily than we can. You have to go at your own pace.” Blaine really was going to shave his beard later. Even if Sam loved it. Blaine had a gig in a bar in a week or so. He wanted to have a semi clean shaven face. He adjusted his cap. “But speaking of… I’m… do you think Sam and I have waited long enough? I am ready to tell him that I love him. So, I think that I’m ready for us to fuck.” Blaine was glad that it was pretty much empty. He really wanted to hear Louis’ opinion.

“Well I think you should at least tell him you love him. And that you’re ready to talk about sex. See what he says. Blaine, I want you to know, that i’m proud of you. For trying to break your patterns. You’re doing great with that. I think Sam is going to be really good for you.” Louis smiled as Blaine blushed deeply. He was shy about compliments and praise. Louis thought that made Blaine even adorable. Louis shrugged a shoulder. “You and Sam have to decide when the time is right for you two to sleep together.” Louis wondered if they were going to discuss why Sebastian wasn’t invited to Gay Christmas. Jeff had insisted on calling it that. Louis knew why Blaine was so against it. He hated Bas, not that Louis blamed him for that. 

Blaine eyed Louis. He could tell that Louis wanted to say something and was hesitating. “You want to ask me about Sebastian, don’t you?” He asked, and now Lou’s ears turned red. Blaine moved to fill the napkin dispensers on the counter. “He’s not coming. I don’t care how the rest of you feel about it.” Blaine hadn’t told anyone, not even Sam, what Sebastian had gotten him to attempt with his actions. Blaine didn’t want to have to tell Louis, but if he had to, he so would. “You have no idea what he did to me. Well…. You do.” Blaine sometimes forgot that Lou was the one who had found him after his suicide attempt. Blaine often wondered if he had hit his head after he’d started to lose blood. It was certainly possible. “I don’t care if he is sleeping with Nick and Jeff. “

Louis’ mouth dropped open. He hadn’t known that, “Are you… wow. That is just a recipe for disaster.” Louis adjusted his own cap. “I suppose it makes sense though. He’s started to smell like Nick lately.” He wasn’t at all judging them, Nick and Jeff had to do what they could to keep their relationship fresh. Louis just knew for a fact that threesomes were trouble. He’d never even tried to have one. As hot as the idea was. He watched Blaine refilling the napkins. “Boy, what has your little brother and his boyfriend joined? We’re going to be some gay soap opera” Louis was not a fan of drama. This was going to end in drama. 

At the mention of his baby brother, Blaine grinned. “They’re actually engaged! I’m so happy for them.” Blaine was of the mind that’s why Scott had wanted to get away from their dad. He knew that Rafe wouldn’t approve. Scott and Stiles had been in love for years. Blaine wasn’t a bit shocked that they were engaged. “I can’t wait for the wedding. But they can’t decide on what kind of wedding that they want. Scott wants a big traditional one, and Stiles doesn’t.” They’d discussed it at length the night before. Blaine was over the moon over it. He was so happy for Scott. He focused on Louis then, as the napkins were full. That was when his eye fell on Smythe. 

Sebastian wasn’t at all sure why he’d come to Blaine’s Starbucks. He was very high on Valium right now. And not the generic, either. Sebastian walked slowly up to the counter. Blaine immediately walked away, and Louis moved to help him. Sebastian hadn’t stopped getting high since Blaine had shown him what he’d done after their breakup. He was going to flunk his finals, he was sure. Sebastian met Louis’ eyes. They were both quiet a moment. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what was being said about him in their circle. He hadn’t even been hooking up with Niff. He hadn’t been feeling like he was someone who deserved sex with two guys at once. He pulled out some cash, which was rare for him. His drug dealer only dealt in cash though. His eyes were bleary as he looked up at the menu. He was only barely aware that Louis was asking him what he wanted. Sebastian shook his head, clearing the cobwebs. He’d just woken up. “Um, a cafe mocha frappe, and a sesame bagel, Lou.” He managed to say. His eyes met Lou’s, and he knew what Louis was going to say. “Louis, leave me alone. They’re prescription and I’m fine.” Sebastian knew that Louis didn’t believe him. Sebastian kept his gaze on Louis, trying to keep his gaze serious. He didn’t want to hear an anti drug lecture. “You have no idea what I’m going through.” Sebastian couldn’t believe that he’d driven someone like Blaine to try and kill himself. It was…. It was horrible.

“You do not get to do this.” Louis told him, as he went to get his coffee. “You don’t get to be hurt about what Blaine told you. You don’t get to do the ‘oh woe is me’ thing, do you hear me?” Louis hadn’t ever really given Sebastian shit for what he’d done to Blaine. Louis didn’t know how Bas could live with himself. And clearly he couldn’t. “You were the one who hurt him. You don’t get to be the one in pain. You…. you should feel guilty. You caused him to try and kill himself. You were the first person he let in after Kurt, and you crushed him. Do you know how much that hurt him? You… you don’t get to do this!”

While Sebastian knew that he deserved that, he didn’t think doing this right now was the best thing. Sebastian handed Louis the money for his food and coffee. “Now is not the time and this is not the place, Louis.” Sebastian got why he was so upset. Blaine was his best friend, his family. Sebastian put the change in the tip jar. It’s not like he needed it. Sebastian gave him a glare. “I’m not saying that I don’t deserve it. I do. I treated Blaine like shit. You are right to be angry. But you don’t get to bitch at me like this in public. I was the one who made the mistake of coming in here, but that could have waited.” Glaring at him, he turned and left. 

As soon as he walked out, Blaine came back, his eyes wet with tears, and he wasn’t happy about it. Bas shouldn’t be able to affect him this way. He had moved on completely. His watery eyes met Louis’. Blaine wondered when he was going to be able to be around Smythe and not want to kill him. Blaine knew that no one expected him to forgive Bas for what he’d done. It was hard, though, since they were in the same circle of friends. Blaine was sure that if it came down to it, Smythe would be the one to be ostracized. N one really liked him since what he’d done to Blaine. Blaine knew he wouldn’t ever forgive Sebastian for what he’d done. It wasn’t as bad as what Kurt had done, but it had been bad enough. Blaine hadn’t been able to believe that the second person he’d let in had hurt him as well. Blaine just hadn’t been able to get past it. But Blaine knew that that was to be expected, with what Sebastian had done to him. His eyes were full of tears, and he moved to wipe them away. Blaine took a wobbly breath. “I want, for once in my life, I want to be able to see him and not cry.” Louis didn’t have to say anything, just reached for Blaine’s hand. He squeezed it. Blaine had to see Sam. “I’m going to go and Facetime Sam since we’re slow. I have to talk to him.” He said, and they shared a look and Blaine moved off to the break room. He pulled out his phone, his hands shaking as he did so. Blaine really hoped that Sam would be able to answer, because he really did need to see him. 

Barely making it out of the class, Sam was able to answer the Facetime call from his boyfriend. “Blaine, baby, hey.” He could tell that Blaine was upset. “What’s wrong?” He asked, moving to get out of the other students’ way. He was going to go and grab some lunch. He was starving. Sam moved to sit on a bench so he could focus on the Facetime call. “You are upset about something.” Then Blaine went into what had happened, and Sam actually put his hand to his mouth. “Oh, baby, I’m sorry. You… you know that I’m on your side. You don’t have to see or talk to him if you don’t want to. No one expects that.” Sam brushed some locks of hair out of his eyes. He didn’t know what else to say. “I can tell you that he’s not sleeping with Jeff and Nick anymore. So honestly, none of us have to talk to him if we don’t want to. Harry likes him, but not enough to vouch for him if we all decided that we were done with him. You… if you’re going to be like this every time you see him, we have to change it. You’re mine now, and it kills me to see you this upset.” Sam was itching to go and tear off Sebastian’s arms. He also didn’t miss the part where he’d been high when he’d been there. Sam knew that if he wasn’t so angry with Smythe he would be worried about that. But right now, Blaine was all that mattered. 

Blaine sniffled. He didn’t know why he was still crying. He didn’t know why it was still affecting him this way. “I just, I want to get to a point where this…. This isn’t going to happen. Where I don’t get all shaky and weepy, seeing him.” Blaine didn’t know if it would ever stop. “I don’t…. I don’t have feelings for him anymore. I hate him for what he did to me. I can’t… I hate him so much that I don’t get why you lot would want to even be around him.” Blaine brushed his hand across his scruffy chin. This kind of ruined the news of the tat that he’d been planning on getting of Sam’s name on his forearm. Blaine was already so in love with Sam. Blaine knew it was insane, they hadn’t even slept together yet. But he knew that Sam was the one. He’d thought that Kurt was, but he’d been so wrong. Blaine knew that he wasn’t this time. Blaine also was fine with not saying it out loud yet. He knew that they weren’t ready to talk about forever. Blaine was also kind of scared to death that he was okay with being with Sam, and knowing that he was the one. Blaine wouldn’t have let it get this far before Sam came along. Blaine also knew that’s why Sam was the one he was supposed to be with. Sam had gotten him to get so many of his walls down. Blaine never let his walls down that quickly with someone. “Sam, I love you. I… I do. You… you’re doing exactly what I knew you would do. You’re making me feel better and being on my side. I’m… I want Smythe out of our circle. I know how selfish that it is to say.” 

With the throng of students having moved on, Sam got up to keep walking to the cafeteria. “I’m… I love you too, B. I love you so much. It’s my job to be on your side. It… we can all talk about it. I know that Louis is going to try and make us care about Bas being high while he was there. But we can’t let that be our problem. Because I know why he is. He’s high because he feels so guilty that when ya’ll broke up you tried to kill yourself. And you shouldn’t feel guilty for how he’s taking the news. I know that that sounds harsh. But… you can’t be responsible for him. None of us are that close to him.”

Blaine’s eyes filled with tears. Even though Sam sounded harsh, he was right. Nothing that Bas did was their concern. Blaine didn’t feel guilty because he wasn’t worried about Smythe’s problems. Blaine brushed his hand across his chin again. “I know that you’re right. I don’t… it sounds really very harsh, but I don’t feel bad. Because it’s his own fault that he’s putting himself through this. It’s… I usually don’t feel that way, where I don’t feel guilty. But this time, I don’t. I… some part of me told him in the first place to get him to feel bad.” He sighed. “I’ve got to go, Lou’s out there all by himself.” They said the I love yous and hung up.

When Sam got to the cafeteria, he found Nick waiting for him. Sam wasn’t sure what he wanted Nick to be here for. “Nick, I really need to get some lunch. I have to eat, I didn’t get breakfast.” Sam put away his phone and moved to see what they had today. “Walk and talk, Nicky.” Sam had taken awhile to get to call Nick ‘Nicky’. Just because Jeff had chosen Nick over Sam. It had taken him awhile to be okay with having Nick around. But he liked Nick, he was a great guy. And Sam didn’t want Jeff anymore, anyway. He wanted to be with Blaine. He moved to grab some pizza and a salad. He then moved to get something to drink. “You here about Smythe?” He asked as he grabbed a Mountain Dew.

Nick sighed. “Yeah, I’m here about Bas. You guys know that Jeffie and I used to be sleeping with him. Ever since your boyfriend told Smythe about his suicide attempt, he’s cut off all ties with us. It’s… we’re just worried about him. He won’t even call to check in, and he always does that. He’s high all the time. I know that you and Blaine most likely don’t care. And none of us are going to blame you for that. Not after what he did to Blaine. But… can you at least think about talking to him? Tell him to lay off the drugs. Harry would, but he assumes that Bas won’t listen to him if he tries, and we all know Louis won’t. You are our only option. I will totally get it if you won’t do anything. But I care about him, and I don’t want him to die.”

Moving to pay, Sam rolled his eyes. “Nick, I admire your ability to care about Smythe. But I am not going to talk to him. And if I do, I’m going to be giving him shit for causing more trouble with Blaine. He’s still really fucked up about what Smythe did to him.” He said, as he walked off to find a place to sit. Sam’s last class of the day had been cancelled. When Blaine got off work at six, they could go hang out with Scott and Stiles. Sam was eager to get to know Scott and his fiancé better. He knew how close Scott and Blaine were. Sam didn’t have any of his own siblings.

Sighing, Nick slid into the seat caddy corner to Sam. “I know Blaine still gets upset. He deserves to feel that way. He came so close to actually dying. And it’s because of what Smythe did. I know how selfish suicide is. But I also can’t try and judge him for being that distraught. I can’t say what I might have done if it was me. But Sam, are you going to be able to live with yourself if he kills himself? I know that he’s doing this himself. I… but you’re an amazing person, Sammy. They don’t make ‘em like you anymore. Just… please, think it over. I couldn’t live with myself if he ODs and none of us had done anything to help him.”

It was hard to keep the anger out of his tone. Sam was taking offense with Nick calling suicide ‘selfish’. Even if he happened to agree. But they had no idea what kind of pain Blaine had been in. Sam picked up a slice of his pizza. Then he took a bite. “You.. you’d better not say a damn word more about suicide and being selfish. Because whether or not, look at what he’d been through. He’d already almost died. He should have, actually. It’s a freaking miracle that he didn’t. So he’s got a different view of death than the rest of us have. He was just trying to end his suffering the only way that he could think of.” He took a few more bites of pizza and spread dressing on his salad. “Smythe… I can’t feel bad for him. You know what kind of person that Blaine is. He’s a very amazing person. He didn’t deserve what Kurt and Smythe did to him. Kurt was his first everything, and he was able to let Smythe in, and look at what happened.” Sam had been thinking about this a lot since the row he and Blaine had had about Smythe. Sam had come to the conclusion that Bas could get through this by himself. He smiled at Harry, as he sat down with them. He filled Harry in on what they’d been talking about. Sam wasn’t sure he wanted to hear Hazza’s opinion on this issue. Harry was a great person and he tended to err on the side of not hating people. Sam was able to admire that about him. Because Sam couldn’t have been that way all the time.

This was a bit of a pickle for Harry. He wasn’t sure what to think about any of it. He knew that he had to put in his two cents. He also knew that there was no way Sam was feeling guilty for Smythe’s current state. Not that he felt Sam should. “I know what he did to Blaine wasn’t right. I know that. But can we really keep going without guilt if we just stop talking to him and he kills himself?” He took a sip of his soda. Harry ignored the look Sam was giving him. “We… I don’t know if I could live like that, I really don’t.” He said, shrugging a shoulder.

“To be fair, Hazza, it’s not as if Smythe doesn’t deserve this. I know how that sounds. I know that. But I don’t want to waste time on him. He knows he shouldn’t be abusing drugs. He’s been to rehab three times.” This was new information to Nick and Harry. “Yeah, most people don’t know that. So I know that he knows how to stop. He just doesn’t want to.” This changed everything for Sam. Sebastian knew how to get help. He was just doing this to try and relieve his guilt. Sam met Harry’s eye. “You shouldn’t be worried, either. He knows he has the knowledge. You need to step away.”

Heaving a sigh, Nick knew this was a total lost cause. No one was going to help Smythe. And with knowing that Smythe had been to rehab that many times and still using, Nick was losing respect for him. His pity for Bas was failing as well. “I think Sam’s right. If he’s done all of that before, he might be beyond help.” Nick met Harry’s eyes, who was looking at Nick with surprise on his handsomely adorable face. Nick sighed again and Sam polished off his pizza slices. “Sammy’s right, Harry. It may sound harsh to your ears, but Sebastian knows what to do to get clean. We can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.”

That was a big surprise, that Nick agreed with him. Sam dug into his salad, he’d saved it for last. After he had taken a bite, Sam said, “Haz, you can put in your time trying to help if that’s what you wish to do. But I’m not, and B certainly is not. We’re going to let him make his own decisions.” It was truly amazing, how Smythe had seemingly turned himself into the victim when he was the attacker. Sam really didn’t think it was fair at all. He took more bites of his salad. He wasn’t going to change his mind about any of it. He knew that some people just might judge him, but he didn’t care. Smythe had treated Blaine like shit. He should feel guilty for what he had done. 

A couple of days later, Scott and Blaine were alone in the apartment. It was around lunchtime, so they were grabbing lunch together. Scott was wondering when or if Blaine was going to ask him why he’d moved to lie with Blaine and Louis. Scott didn’t want to talk about it. He brushed some of his black curls out of his eyes. You could definitely tell that he and Blaine were brothers. He was making grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. It was very cold outside. Scott hummed under his breath as he worked. Blaine was scribbling in a notebook. Scott flipped the sandwiches. “B? Are you okay?” He asked curiously. “I… I know that you’ve been off lately since Sebastian was kicked out of your circle.” Scott missed his own circle. Only Stiles had been able to come with him. Scott knew that something had gone down with Blaine and Smythe, but he didn’t know what. Scott knew about the whole Kurt thing. Scott had been young when that had happened. Scott didn’t hate anyone really, but he did Kurt, and he was glad that Kurt was dead. Anyone that could have done that kind of thing to a person like Blaine didn’t deserve to breathe in and out. It was weird, seeing Blaine like this again. 

His brother’s concern was touching. Blaine pushed curls out of his eyes. Louis and Harry were on a date, and Sam was at the university library, studying. Blaine had been animated when Sam was around the past couple of days. Otherwise, it had been quiet and mopey behavior. Blaine couldn’t explain why he felt like that. He wasn’t sad to see Bas go. But Blaine thought it maybe was bringing up all the feelings that he’d had when Smythe had hurt him. Blaine had been very clingy with Sam, and he also knew that he was going to get through this, and it would be because of his boyfriend. Blaine had insisted today that Sam go and get his studying done. It was the last day of school before winter break. Sam’s staying in school was more important right now. Blaine was writing down lyrics at the current moment. “I’m… I’ll be fine, Squirt.” Blaine said. He knew that Scott was just worried for him. Blaine didn’t know how his attack from Kurt had affected his brother. They’d never really talked about it. He also knew that Scott was trying to keep the subject away from himself and why he and Stiles were here. Blaine also didn’t want to force his brother to talk if he couldn’t. They were close, and Blaine knew that Scott would tell him when he was ready. Blaine brushed his eyes with his hand. They were starting to fill with tears. He cursed his body for betraying him. “I… I know that you don’t know what happened with him and I. Maybe you don’t want to know.”

He put the plate of sandwiches on the table. He didn’t know if he could ask Blaine about what had happened. Scott grabbed the bowls and the soup and moved to sit down. Blaine got up and moved to get them both a drink. Scott waited until Blaine was sitting before he said anything more. “You… you are my hero, Blaine. I don’t know what I would do without you. You… you have to tell me what happened when you’re ready.” Scott spooned some soup into his bowl. “I’m… I’m not ready to tell you my story, either.” Scott knew that the thought of moving in with Blaine had kept him alive. 

Looking at his brother, Blaine wondered whether or not he should pressure Scott or tell him what had happened with Sebastian. It was hard to know the right thing to do. He picked up one half of his sandwich. As he was chewing, he thought about what he was going to say. “I don’t want to… I don’t know what to do with any of this. Pressure you to talk, or…. Tell you what Bas did to me.” Blaine’s voice trembled as he spoke. He met Scott’s eyes. He didn’t know what to do. “We could just talk about the wedding.” He said hopefully. That would be preferable to him. Although decisions on it had to be made. 

The wedding was something Scott would love to talk about. Although Scott was feeling a lot frustrated with it, since he and Stiles couldn’t agree on what kind of wedding to have. Scott wanted to go the traditional route and have a big wedding. Since it was the only one he was planning on having his whole life. It was something that Stiles didn’t seem to want to do. Scott had an idea why Stiles was so resistant. His father had passed away. There was no one to walk Stiles down the aisle. Although Scott had suggested Sam, since his brother had offered to do it for Scott. Stiles hadn’t seemed to into the idea. Scott wished he could get him to agree so they didn’t have to do it at the courthouse. Scott took a drink of his drink. “I don’t know what to do about the wedding. I wish that I did. Stiles is refusing to do the traditional thing. It’s… I think it’s because Noah passed away eight months ago. T here’s no one to walk him down the aisle. So I think that’s why he’s been pushing for a justice of the peace thing.” Scott sighed. “I suggested San do it, since you’re willing to do it for me, but he didn’t seem into that idea, either.” Scott didn’t know how to change his mind. He really wanted to have a big wedding. His mom was gone, and he knew that that was what Melissa would have wanted for them if they were going to get married. He didn’t know why Stiles was being so stubborn.

“I’m sorry that he’s fighting you on this, Scott. I know why you want the big wedding thing.” He did, too, it was for Melissa. Scott had loved Melissa more than anything. Blaine took a sip of his drink. “You want me to talk to him? Because I will. I know he most likely won't listen to me, but I’ll still try. But I mean, I can’t really get where he’s coming from. We didn’t have such a great dad. I mean, that’s why I’m walking you down the aisle. By the way, I would love you to do it for me if I ever get married.” Blaine definitely was thinking that it might be Sam. He hadn’t said that out loud yet. “You… I think it might be Sam, and I’m so so scared to bring it up with him. We haven’t been together long enough. Not with my issues.” Blaine knew Sam had his own, and he also knew that’s why he hadn’t brought it up yet. He also knew why it was kind of hilarious that the two of them were making things work. But they were. Blaine took a bite of his soup. “You and Stiles are going to be together for a very very long time. You two, you are the best example of love that I’ve ever seen. I know it’s not saying much, but I do mean it. You are done, you’ve found who you were meant to be with. I’m actually really happy for you. And I’m so proud of you, for being able to be with him.”

As soon as Blaine said that, Scott’s eyes filled with tears. Blaine had no idea how much that meant to him. Because he had no idea what Scott had been through. He brushed his hand across his eyes. “B… you, that means a lot to me. It really does.” Scott knew that he had to tell his brother what their father had done to him. Pushing away his empty bowl, Scott took a deep breath. This was going to be so hard. Scott let out a breath and started the story. “Rafe…. Blaine, he was abusing me my whole life. He beat me…. And sexually abused me.” Scott’s eyes brushed with tears. Blaine’s hand had gone up to cover his mouth. “It… Ma never knew. I know you already hate him. I know that. I just… it was hell on Earth. I am so grateful to you for letting me move here.” Scott’s voice shook as he spoke. And he really meant everything that he was saying. “I know you’re going to ask why I didn’t press charges. While Ma was alive, I was trying to keep her safe. She’d’ve killed him. Now though… I just, I don’t think I can go through the story that many times. I’d have to tell it over and over. And I can’t face him. It’s why I had to get out of there. He just… he kept doing it and I had to get out. That was all I cared about. Getting out.” Scott felt like he needed to be high for this, and he reached into his pockets for a joint and a lighter. “We’re going to be okay, B. You… I know that you’re really trying with Sam. I think you two are going to be fine.”

This was unbelievable. Blaine watched Scott get the joint. It was from California, where Scott and Stiles had been living. Blaine knew it was good stuff. He got up to clear the dishes. Blaine didn’t know what to say about any of it. “Scott… I’m so sorry. If he hadn’t abandoned my mom... it may have happened to me. Then it wouldn’t have happened to you. I wish that I could take it away. I can’t… I want to kill him. I get why you didn’t want to tell Melissa.” Blaine knew that he couldn’t actually go through with killing their dad though. It would be too cruel, even though it was justified. 

Scott hit the joint a couple of times and then passed it to his brother. “You don’t need to kill him, either. I know that you’re trying to be a singer. You have to focus on that and not let it be something that doesn’t happen. You have a beautiful voice, and you play like Clapton and you write beautiful lyrics. You can be a huge star. I know it’s going to be hard. But you can do it, I know that you can. Don’t let anger at Rafe stop you.” Scott would never forgive himself if Blaine messed that up because he’d told his brother what Rafe had done to him. Scott didn’t think he’d ever stop feeling guilty about that.

Blaine hit the joint twice before he passed it back. “You know I can’t go through with it.” Before he could say anything more, Stiles and Louis were coming in. Scott went over to hug and kiss Stiles immediately. He had to admit, looking at his brother and his fiancé was like looking at love. Blaine couldn’t believe that there were people out there who hated same sex love. Because Scott and Stiles were very clearly in love. Blaine looked at Stiles. “Stiles, can I talk to you?” He figured now was as good a time as any to talk to him about the wedding. He accepted the joint from Scott and hit it, and then looked at Stiles. “I know why you don’t want a big wedding. Noah isn’t here to give you away. I don’t understand it, my parents were shit, but you know how important it is to Scott to have the traditional wedding. He promised Melissa. She was a great person, Stiles. And she did a lot for you. I know she won’t know the difference… but you could do it for her. For Scott. You know you would do anything for Scott. Please do this for him. You both deserve more than a courthouse wedding.” Blaine really did believe that. Stiles’ eyes had filled with tears, and Blaine handed him the joint, touching Stiles’ arm. “I know how devastated you are over losing your dad. I may not get it, because my dad’s shit, but you know that he wouldn’t want you to not live your life or deprive yourself of anything.” This was incredibly true, and they both knew it. 

All of that was true and made sense. He hit the joint and passed it on to Scott. “I know you’re right. I’m kind of being selfish. I just.. I can’t… every time I think of getting married in a church, I start to get a panic attack. I just… Dad would have wanted to be there. I don’t… I know I won’t get through this without Scott. I will admit you make good points.” Stiles paused to wipe his eyes. He also knew what Scott had been through. Stiles knew that it wasn’t that hard of a thing to just give in on this. Stiles was just having a hard time accepting the fact that Noah was gone, for good. 

It had to be hard, losing a dad that was one who was good to you. Blaine couldn’t even guess what that was like. “You had a great dad, Stiles. And you know that he’d want you to be happy. And I know he loved Scott.” It was hard to not love his baby brother. There was no one like Scott left in the world. Blaine couldn’t imagine anyone hating Scott. That was like hurting puppies. And Scott loved puppies. Blaine accepted the joint and hit it again. They had two going now. Blaine was just hoping that he was getting Stiles to at least reconsider the big wedding concept. They fell silent, and Blaine felt that was okay. They could be quiet.

Later that evening, Blaine was laying cuddled up to Sam on Sam’s sofa. They were all alone, Harry and Louis had gone to some party a mutual friend was throwing. Sam and Blaine had been invited but they’d opted not to go. They were watching Love Actually. Sam always teared up at the end when Jamie and Aurelia got engaged. Sam was glad that Blaine was in his arms. They were still taking things slow. Sam was glad that they were waiting. He was getting to the point where he was wanting to finally have sex with his boyfriend though. He was going to bring it up the next day, since it was getting closer to Christmas. They were all going to Blaine and Louis’, since it was the biggest apartment of what they had. Sam was just glad that he didn’t have to go home and spend time with his dad. His dad never really was around much during the holidays. It was because of Sam’s mom being gone. Sam stroked Blaine’s arm. “B.. do you think maybe tomorrow we could… make love?” That made him feel a little weird, he’d never really called it that before. But with Blaine, it would finally really be making love for him. Sam couldn’t wait, and he felt like it was time. He loved Blaine. He’d never felt this way before. It was a new feeling and he had to admit, he liked it. Blaine leaned his head to look at Sam. “I really think it’s time, B. I… I love you.” It was the first time that it had been said. Sam’s heart was pounding out of his chest, nervous for what Blaine was going to say back. 

Blaine’s heart was pounding out of his chest. They hadn’t said that word yet. Blaine was so nervous to say it back, even if he did feel it deep inside. “You love me.” He said this in a very shocked tone. Blaine looked into those green eyes that sometimes looked blue. Blaine brushed curls out of his eyes. Blaine loved Sam so much that it hurt sometimes. Blaine was scared to death of loving someone like that. Everyone he’d loved like that had ended up hurting him, almost beyond repair. Blaine couldn’t go through pain like Smythe and Kurt had put him through again. Blaine hadn’t felt this in a long while. Blaine licked his lips in his nervousness. “Sam… I have to warn you. I don’t know how to be happy. But… I love you, too, Sammy. It scares me to death, because I love people and then they hurt me. I can’t go through that again. I need…. I need you to stay. And if we make love tomorrow, I can’t have you leaving. I… I can’t get through being hurt like that again.” Blaine’s eyes brushed with tears. Then Sam was kissing him, and all coherent thoughts ceased to matter. All he could think about was those lips on his. Blaine’s stomach was full of butterflies and all he could think about was the next day. Blaine had a heady feeling from kissing Sam and could feel it all the way to his toes. 

Maybe it would be okay for all of them. Blaine had no idea how wrong he was. 

_I’ve never written a love song_  
That didn’t end in tears  
Maybe you’ll rewrite my love song  
If you can replace my fears  
I need your patience and guidance  
And all your lovin’ and more  
Then thunder rolls through my life  
Will you be able to weather the storm?  
There’s so much I would give you baby  
If only I let myself  
I feel I must protest  
But what’s the point of this armor  
If it keeps the love away too?  
I’d rather bleed with cuts of love  
Than live without any scars  
Baby, can I trust this?  
Or do all things end?  
I need to hear that you’d die for me  
Again and again and again  
So tell me when you look into my eyes  
Can you share all the pain and the happy times  
I will love you for the rest of my life  
This is my very first love song  
That didn’t end in tears  
I think you rewrote my love song  
For the rest of my years  
I will love you for the rest of my life 

 

_**Author’s note: So yeah. Sorry for the angst. I did know it was coming. This also could have been longer. I.. I’ve had a very stressful last 5 months. I hope ya’ll are hanging in, and I will do my best to update soon. Complaints about content will most likely be ignored. Especially ones with no merit and are just to be rude.** _


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